Why I dislike Kevin Smith.

I never knew Smith was a hate figure.

I always believed him to have an enormous following of abject worship and the only people who wanted to cause him harm were the religious nuts who were anti-Dogma. Way back when I met a good friend through Smith's work. One morning he came in late to work and explained he had to buy a copy of Mallrats. So instead of disciplining the guy I asked to borrow the movie. To which he said "Only if you watch Clerks first."

So, that very night, I rented Clerks and was blown away. Having spent years trying to come up with a film I thought I could make independently along comes this guy that does just that. However, he did it with such flair and genius that it set up home in my heart. Working in a video store (or retail in general) this film speaks to the few, the tired hard working people who have to deal with the inanities of life and work. All the while there is the constant balance of work and home and trying to measure the two.

Mallrats was given to me and I raced home to watch. It became a favorite immediately, once again speaking to that part of me I had never seen interpreted in film before. Just as Smith made Mallrats as his Animal House I wrote a movie called Poolgods to be my Mallrats.

Chasing Amy happened at a time when I was involved in an oddly similar situation. Even worse the situation ended the same - the girl walking away leaving me a hollow shell. I still watch the film with a pain inside for what could've been but either way I'm Affleck.

Dogma. The first film of Smith's that actually FELT like a film. A good one too. Sure a little disjointed and overly dialogued but still it was... well WHOLE. The characters had long arcs and twists to their being and the film relied heavily on emotion - played brilliantly by all the cast.

But then something happened. Something bad. Silent Bob wasn't silent anymore and Kevin Smith suddenly had a voice... about everything.

I couldn't open a magazine without Smith waxing lyrical about something or other and it built to a point where I stopped looking. I was scared I would start to hate him and in turn myself. See Kevin Smith was me but succesful, his voice had been heard and as all my scripts and ideas piled up it became more and more clear. It wasn't jealousy but I couldn't stand hearing Smith using cool expressions that seemed too young for him. "Flick" to describe a movie, "Cat" to describe a person... I cringed whenever I heard it.

Nevertheless I enjoyed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl. I LOVED Jersey Girl. It was an amazing story and well written too but the performances were awesome. I'll save Affleck adulation for a later blog (My Affleck-tion - coming soon) but the young girl was incredible. Plus, like so many Smith films before it, this movie spoke to me now as a father.

I bought An Evening With Kevin Smith and watched it many times - one thing about the guy is he can damn well spin a yarn. I bought the second, Evening Harder, and then once again it fell apart. Whereas the first DVD was edited highlights of numerous shows, the second was two full shows. So all the bits that were not as good were left in and Smith just seemed to ramble on and on. Also every sentence (and if you own it go check) seems to end with "N'shit" - EVERY SENTENCE... seemingly.

This was just all I could take. I watched both shows getting more and more frustrated n'shit. But then his opinions were everywhere. To this day Smith shows up all over with his blog "My Boring Ass Life" reading like a big smug "I'm better than you" to everyone. I wish I could say not having to work a meandering 9-5/6 job and hanging out with every celebrity going just to enhance my name dropping skills is "boring".

Currently, Smith is touting his new film "Zack and Miri make a porno" and for the first time in a long time I cannot actually work up the excitement to see the film. I haven't even viewed the trailer mainly because of two things: More internet Smith news regarding the MPAA and Seth fucking Rogen.

Rogen just seems to be everywhere. Click on a website and it'll be full of ads for Pineapple Express, which is another film I don't care about. Look, he may be a lovely guy and a talented person but I don't like him. He exists as a person I just wouldn't get along with - especially after his weed advertising on The Daily Show.

Now Smith won't shut up about his new film Red State. Plus his new movie with SETH ROGEN - YES ANOTHER ONE!!! When SMith hired nobody but Ben Affleck I was okay, now it seems Rogen is his new go to guy.

Maybe I just wish I could go back to the days of "Snootchie Bootchies"?