Harry says shit about STUFF I DON'T CARE ABOUT!

Before the internet came into my life I heard the story of Harry Knowles. Although the story I heard was he was some big guy who ate too much and had the internet put in his room because he had no life. I don't know Harry nor do I care to. Like most people I can avoid him and let him live his life in peace.

Sadly, I often tire of the internet and all it's shortcomings (seriously I thought this place was a one stop shop of everything - I get peturbed to find it's limits) and I break off to see what is going on at Ain't It Cool News.

Now I am a lowly nobody who occasionally bumps away at his keyboard for fun, and lack of a girlfriend, so who am I to judge these folks? Well I am a person who gave up on SFX magazine when it seemed apparent that the writers were smug pricks, I am a reader of CHUD.com - Devin Faraci is a God to me - and I am a frequenter of websites... so there.

One look at AICN and you can see it's a mess. No clear interfaces just loads and loads of text, the majority of which is indecipherable. Robert Langdon would probably give up on this. Also, the posters rely on their Net Handles and post as these psuedonyms.

Ahoy! boasts Quint... He chose his name from a great film but still I get this image of this guy not being let into some shindig and proclaiming "Don't you know who I am!? I am Quint from AICN!"

Mr Beaks, Capone, some Wyrm guy... everything about this site puts me off. However, my main gripe is down below. At the bottom is a special section for Harry Knowles which features Headlines all beginning with "Harry..."

Harry says that LOVELY BONES is a lovely brutal film!
Harry mourns a listless melodrama buried under the Spectacular Effects of 2012...
Harry loved Zemeckis' A CHRISTMAS CAROL, but with mild trepidations...
Harry feels there is almost no ASTRO BOY in this ASTRO BOY movie
Harry calls WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE the best film he's seen this year!

and so on...

All I can say is "Who the fuck does Harry think he is?"

I make my assumptions on film by my own preferable taste and by word of mouth from people who write out of love for the craft. Devin Faraci for example, a man who I may not always agree on but his reviews are well thought out and written from a comedic and crafted peice of writing. I have also taken advice from Brad Jones - The Cinema Snob - who thankfully made me finally watch Inglourious Basterds and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans just by having so much passion in the reviews.

Harry Knowles has been accused of pandering to the studios who give him the early screening or fly him out to a set visit. Personally, I think he is a media whore who believes his hype because some folks put him (or a character of him) in their film.

So if I want real reviews from folks who aren't just grabbing at attention in the hope of getting put on a movie poster I'll stick with Devin and Brad thank you.

Ain't it cool?

No Harry, Quint, Beaks et al... it AIN'T cool.